61. Eva Saha [Welcoming]

Eva is one of those humans that when I met her, I just knew we were kindred spirits. We first interacted on the in-person set of a virtually broadcast conference. Next thing I knew, we were zooming across the floor in office chairs, talking deeply, and enjoying each other's personhood. And this is exactly what we're talking about today: being welcoming.

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Transcript

Joy Blue: 0:10

Welcome to Here We Are. The podcast where we celebrate the beauty of being a nerd by learning about nerdy things from fellow nerds. I'm your host, Joy Blue. Oh goodness. I am so excited for you to meet today's guest. I met her earlier this year on a live to virtual production set, and right away we hit it off. So much of it is due to the very subject we're discussing today, being welcom. The more you get to know her, the more you'll experience the true gift of her inclusivity and warmth. Without further ado, here's Eva Saha to talk with us all about what it means to be welcoming.

Eva Saha: 0:51

Hi, I am Eva Saha. I am a professional host, emcee, and moderator, well, that's my current career. I've changed it quite a bit and I'm a Gemini.

Joy Blue: 1:01

Congratulations. Okay, I met you on a job site where you were an emcee/ host for a virtual event, which in and of itself is an interesting thing because you're not actually seeing the audience, but even though you didn't see the audience, I experienced incredible warmth from you. I experienced genuine enthusiasm, which I cannot manufacture enthusiasm. So that in and of itself is fascinating to me. But you're genuinely welcoming. I don't know how you do that. Okay. So many things.

Eva Saha: 1:37

You know, Joy, you are so uniquely you and whatever's authentic to you, then it doesn't matter. There's not like one personality type or one kind of person who attracts other people, right? Like you and I connected and we're very different. But...if you're your authentic self, people will respond to that. And my authentic self happens to just be a lover of human beings and somebody who wants to connect with people. Like my dad used to joke when I was little that he, he said that he just remembers me running across the playground when I was a little kid and going up to people and saying, hi, my name's Eva. What's your name? Tell me all about yourself. Literally. Yeah. And I don't know whether he heard that from my mom or whether he really remembers it, but the point is, that's the way I was born. I was born to connect with people. I have a genuine interest in human beings. Like some people like computers more than they like human beings. I'm the opposite. Like I wish that I could still have my day planner and write in it because technology and everything else, I know it helps the world. But I just like human to human contact. So all this like social media and advancements in technology that kind of kind of separate us is not comfortable for me. So then I get to in my job. And I came upon it. I didn't even know this job existed, but that I came into this job and I get to connect with people, learn about what they're doing, find out about what companies are doing to make the world go round, which ultimately comes back to, helping people. I, I truly am genuinely fascinated. And so it's almost like my dad joked around. He said, I can't believe you now get paid to talk. You know, making fun of me cuz that's, I always got in trouble for talking too much in school. But really what he means is he can't believe I came into this job that is perfectly suited for me.

Joy Blue: 3:20

Yeah. I feel similarly about myself. My mom always said I would be in a job where I would be telling people what to do, and

Eva Saha: 3:29

you're the boss.

Joy Blue: 3:30

here we are. Okay. I love this. So what I just heard you say is that a through line of who you are is the ability to see others and be curious about them. Where has that gotten you?

Eva Saha: 3:42

Huh, it's gotten to me to where I am today.

Joy Blue: 3:44

What are some way points along the way? How did that develop?

Eva Saha: 3:48

gosh, that's a really good question. This is why you're a podcast host. I think that because I am just fascinated by people and I like to connect with people, it means that I haven't really had to plan my life so much. So I think a lot of people have all kinds of ideas about what they should do and how they should do it. I hear all the time people goal setting and I've been seeing it all over the internet. Coaches on LinkedIn saying, make a plan, write it down. What are your goals for next year? I've sort of lived a life of I don't know what the master plan is. How can back up a little bit? Part of that has to do with, I was born into the Hindu religion and Hindus believe that everything is predetermined. Obviously you have to make certain choices and it will lead you in certain directions, but sort of the ultimately the places you'll go in life are pre determined. And maybe that's sort of somewhere in the back of my head. Or maybe it's my personality and like you said, just somebody who just likes to connect with people and go with the flow. I've never really had a master plan.

Joy Blue: 4:47

Hmm.

Eva Saha: 4:48

Whatever I have liked and responded to, that's the direction that I take. In college I didn't do as well in biology as I did in accounting and econ. So I ditched my master plan to be a doctor and went to business school. In business school, I liked my business law class the best. So I went to law school. And then in law school I sort of, I don't like to have conflict with people, so I didn't wanna be a litigator. So I went into corporate law, you know? and then well, and then now I'm here and I know that that's like a big leap, but I've just sort of followed what I respond to, what I like, and then I just go from there. And so I think that in some ways, the kind of person that I am, and what you just identified and my personality and my way of being has just led me in this direction that I don't need to worry too much about planning and goal setting and all that kind of stuff. I, I let other people help me with that and I just do what I like to do and I say yes to things that I feel like, oh yeah, that would be fun. Let me do it.

Joy Blue: 5:46

that is truly beautiful. I feel very similarly, and I grew up in, in the mindset of a lot of, you know, Western thinking of you need to be able to plan five years ahead. You do need to have all those goals. You do need to have like, what do you wanna be? And I was like I, I don't know. I've never known what I wanted to be. But similarly to you, I follow my curiosities

Eva Saha: 6:10

Mm-hmm.

Joy Blue: 6:10

and that led us to each other.

Eva Saha: 6:12

Yeah.

Joy Blue: 6:14

And that's beautiful. I haven't heard many people who were like, yeah, I mean, I don't know what the plan is, but I don't know. That looks shiny. I guess I'll go over there.

Eva Saha: 6:22

that's ex, you're so brilliant yourself, cuz that is so right. And people will ask me all the time, well, where do you wanna be in five years? And I'm like, right now I'm just really enjoying where I am and in my life. I I just told you that I was an accountant and a corporate lawyer. I didn't plan this. This isn't that job. It's just I said yes to things that seemed to resonate with me or seemed curious to me and it's led me along this path. And there's something about it that gives you a freedom to not worry too much. Cuz I'm a worrier by nature. I have a general anxiety, so I don't need to be worrying about what's happening in 10 years. I just say, well, I like what I'm doing now. And then if it leads to something else that I discover is just another right direction to go in, then I will.

Joy Blue: 7:03

But that's also the ability to be present. Because what I just heard you say is you and I are both also anxious people. I do like to plan. I do like to know what's coming, but also there is so much freedom in being able to be here and now, me in the present.

Eva Saha: 7:20

Yeah. I'm such a Buddhist.

Joy Blue: 7:22

That's great. So another thing that came to mind as we were talking was like you followed your curiosity through all of those different trails, but also what I've experienced of you is your ability to read a room and to be welcoming. But I also heard you say that with what you said, with your childhood you were that kid that ran up and was like, hey, who are you? Do you want to come play with me? has the journey of welcoming looked like to you? Who modeled that for you? How has it morphed along the years to where you are now? Because that's essentially what being an emcee is.

Eva Saha: 8:03

I hope that I don't start crying cuz as soon as you asked, who modeled that for you, I got the chills. All over because it's my mom and my mom died

Joy Blue: 8:09

Hmm.

Eva Saha: 8:09

in 2016, so I have all the feels right now.

Joy Blue: 8:12

Yeah.

Eva Saha: 8:13

But my mom was just that person. She did everything selflessly. She connected with people always. My dad told me the story that they flew into Seattle and they were on their way to Canada, somewhere around there. I can't remember the exact details, but whatever it was, their flight got delayed or something Got delayed. And my mom literally opened the phone book and went to the, like the Bengali names in the phone book and just started calling people until somebody answered. Then somebody probably named Chakra BTI or something like that, answered the phone and they said, hi, we're the Sahas we're stuck here. Do you wanna have us over for dinner? And

Joy Blue: 8:47

What?

Eva Saha: 8:48

I cannot tell you the number of times that happened and how many lifelong friends my parents made because of that. and she was just, I guess it's a different day and age. And so if somebody called, you'd be like, no, and you'd lock your doors. But my mom was just that person who was like, nobody is a stranger. And we shouldn't be. We're all humans put on this earth to love and to connect and be together and serve each other. And so I think that I definitely learned that from both of my parents, this idea to sort of serve and connect with people, but especially my mom. Who just, she just never knew a stranger and so much good came out of it in her life. when you grow up seeing that and seeing her connect with people and do for people and also receive from people, you're like, that is the richest life. Cuz no matter how much money you have, no matter how many resources you have, if she can call someone on a phone book when they had no money when they first moved to this country and connect with people like that and have dinner, right? Bread, I mean, are you kidding me? All the time these days, especially young folks are looking on the internet and being like, I just wanna connect with people. Everyone else is having a better life.

Joy Blue: 9:49

Yep.

Eva Saha: 9:50

My dad always told me like, you know, when you're laying on your deathbed, you don't worry about all the work that you did, and all you think about are the people that you love and the connections that you made and the experiences that you've had, you know? so I think that it's just, it's modeled by my mother for sure, and it has really brought me to a place where I get to learn from so many other people and I get to connect with people. And there's no better feeling than that in the whole world. You know? No Prada bag can bring you that kind of joy.

Joy Blue: 10:16

What I heard you say in your description of your mother, Is something I have really only heard Brene Brown talk about of you can only truly give help when you are first able to receive help. And what I heard you say about your mom in that moment was not only like the female trope so often is just the selfless giver and that's it, and then you're run out at the end of the day. But I think what I also heard you say is that it was two-way.

Eva Saha: 10:47

Oh.

Joy Blue: 10:48

What I heard you say was your mom knew her value and from that place of knowing that she's a human that belongs in the world just because she exists. So then we're back to the topic of following your curiosity and following what feels warm and wow. I'm so glad she modeled that for you.

Eva Saha: 11:07

I keep getting the chills all over. You have these beautiful truth nuggets. Like you should be Brene Brown, you should post everywhere and everyone should follow you, Joy. Cuz I love what you take from the spew that comes out of my mouth. Uh, That's amazing.

Joy Blue: 11:20

Who else has been with you on your journey?

Eva Saha: 11:22

Oh my gosh. So a lot of people remark that they love our family, like this extended family of mine, my father, my mother, my brother, my sister, all of our crazy aunts and uncles and cousins and everything like that, as well. We're just again it boils down to connection. And it's funny cuz. my brother, my sister, and I have all commented that friends of ours tell us, oh my gosh, your family is so close. Even in high school, I remember my girlfriend being like, you can tell your mom anything. You can talk to her about anything. What must that be like? Because she's like, I barely ever talked to my dad. That was just her example. And so everyone in my family of origin has been a big part of my life in shaping who I am. My brother and my sister are these phenomenal people who, they are doctors who serve the world. My sister's an addiction medicine doctor and has worked all her life to try to change systems. Like black men going to prison for drug offenses and things like that. And my brother has spent his entire life trying to achieve equity. And his more narrow avenue of doing that in his career is he is a doctor who has fought for equity in medicine. And so they've been in incredible role models and inspirations to me. And always like, you know, the brother sister bond. We just, were always talking on the phone, we're always texting, we're always visiting each other. And then I married the most amazing man, Brian, and we have two adult daughters. And I could not be more proud of them. It's just like constant support. I'm about to get knee surgery, I and I said, I'm gonna do it at Thanksgiving. And they're like, that's the perfect time. So you have holidays to rest and not have to work, and we're just gonna take care of you. And I was talking to my therapist post virtual appointment about the knee surgery and I shed a few tears cause I started getting anxious and my younger daughter, who's home right now, came to the room and she gives me a big hug and she's like, mom, you're getting a new knee. And by the way, did I tell you I'm taking over Thanksgiving and starts telling me all of her plans. And then my surgery date got changed and so I'm gonna have to leave this house at 3:30 in the morning.

Joy Blue: 13:18

Ooh.

Eva Saha: 13:18

and then we're gonna be there until like about 12:00 PM that day. And I said, you know what? A lot of people just Uber, I'm gonna go there and then they'll call you and you'll pick me up. And he is like, Nope. You know? And it's just, there's just no question in my family. And my girls were like, mom, of course he's going, of course he's gonna stay with you the entire time. Like, Wow, there's an Oakbrook shopping mall, baby go shopping. And they're like, no, he's not gonna go shopping. He's gonna be sitting in that room in case anything happens. Just waiting for you.

Joy Blue: 13:43

right.

Eva Saha: 13:44

in every way. I get that from both of my girls and my husband. And so I, yeah, I just, I'm feeling a lot of love right now. You're gonna make, you're like those interviewers who make people cry, like when they're together. I'm just, I'm like, again, I'm feeling all the feels cuz Yeah, I just have amazing family and of course friends as well, but who are just with me all the time.

Joy Blue: 14:03

Yeah. I mean that still comes back to the theme of welcoming. Like what I'm hearing you say about your family is you start from a place of humanness first. What I heard you say with, you know, you could tell your mom anything, that implies that there's an environment of low judgment and high curiosity. Like, especially parentally, being able to ask questions back to the kid of, well, what do you think about that? I'm not just gonna tell you. Which then has such an impact on who you are and how you see the world. And so that curiosity has followed you. Sounds like the same curiosities in your siblings. Same curiosities in your kids. That is a legacy that you can't pay money for. That goes farther than almost anything. The ability to truly show up curious and see people as human, that's what changes our society.

Eva Saha: 14:55

Yeah. I used to tell people when the girls were little, it was so funny cuz I'd go into their beds and read their books and stuff with them and my husband too. And I would ask them things like when they were three years old, do you have a crush on anyone at your preschool? And my husband used to laugh and he was like, they're three. And I'm like, I know, but I want them to know that they can talk to me about anything. And while they were growing up, I would ask them all these questions, probing questions all the time so that they would talk to me and be able to share things with me. And I remember for so long I'd be like, are you dating anyone at school? Do you have a crush on any boys or any girls? And the girls used to tell me, they're like, mom, you can stop asking the girl part because neither one of us are lesbians. And I said, okay, fine. But if you ever change your mind... And my daughter, because this is not personal information, and she shares it with the world. My second daughter um, came out recently, the last couple of years as as sort of her preferences are for anybody, you know, for males and females. And she goes, mom, I promise you, I did not know. I was not lying when you asked me. I really did not know. And I said, well, that's why I kept asking. you know what I mean? And even my older one is actually engaged to a man and I still ask her, is everything going okay? Do you crushes? And now I don't because she and Chris are gonna get married and they're the most beautiful couple. And she would not betray him in that way. But, I asked them for so long until finally Shrea told me, yeah, actually I do like a girl. I, you know, you and I spoke about how everyone is not always accepting of all human beings. Oh, did you see that? Candace Cameron Burough talk about how she's got a channel that's not Hallmark, where she'll be doing movies with like traditional marriage only. And there's all this like backlash about her. I was like, seriously? And then today she wrote this long thing about how she loves everyone. I'm like, oh my God, you've gotta be kidding me. And literally my younger daughter and I were talking about this and we're like how, who are these people? I don't get these people, but if we all just looked at each other as humans and didn't judge, like you're saying,

Joy Blue: 16:40

right?

Eva Saha: 16:40

the world would be just so much more infinite and open to all of us

Joy Blue: 16:44

Yeah.

Eva Saha: 16:45

you know, There would just be so much more love than there is now.

Joy Blue: 16:47

Yeah.

Eva Saha: 16:48

Was a long rambling, I don't know what, but

Joy Blue: 16:50

No, I totally get that. And I'm gonna yes/and it. Every year I go to a local high school and I share with a bunch of ESL students about my experience going to the country of Jordan and interacting with refugees. And one of the things that I talk about, or I found myself talking about a lot this year was the difference between Western thinking and indigenous thinking. Western thinking is often I'm going to come, I want that, I'm going to take it, that is going to be mine. It is a culture of personal property. But yet indigenous culture says, I am because of you. Everything is a circle. I take care of the earth, the earth takes care of me. It's not about possession and taking and gaining and dominion. It's a mindset of we are because of each other. And also, that gives permission for evolution. So what I'm hearing you say in your continual asking of that question over and over again is giving your kids permission to evolve. I don't expect you to stay the same. I expect you to evolve and I wanna know more about you as you change. Tell me more. How'd you come to that?

Eva Saha: 17:57

I gotta tell you on that note, boy, have they changed. They just, yes, mommy to everything when they were growing up and now they have their own opinions, they're adults and everything. I'm like, now I have to hear it from them if I don't get it right. Which I hope that I created that in them, because it was not a dictatorship in this house gosh. I'm learning so much from you in this podcast, Joy.

Joy Blue: 18:15

But that comes back to the same environment that your mom created of curiosity, and low judgment, and the ability to be able to ask questions and say, I don't know. What do you think? And also, thanks for your feedback on that. I'm gonna think about it.

Eva Saha: 18:30

Do you know what you just said is what the job of a host/emcee is? Like what you just said. So I think that it was, you know, my mom modeled this for me and she thought, you know, maybe I'll be a doctor or a lawyer, which I then was a lawyer. But really, truly I came back to what she modeled in me and what is like at the deepest core of my heart to do in life. You know, Connect with people, ask for their input, learn from it, and then, not have judgment, but learn and understand and then both of us be at a higher place. And that's what I get to do in my job, which is just so awesome. I get to do that all the time.

Joy Blue: 19:02

You do. and you get to do it on crazy stages.

Eva Saha: 19:06

I know. Isn't that fun?

Joy Blue: 19:07

It really is. What is that like for you going from being a corporate lawyer to now being on the stage?

Eva Saha: 19:15

Oh my gosh. It's so fun. I have to say, I did like being a corporate lawyer. I loved the work. But again, the thing that I loved most was not drafting documents. Which some people would love to just sort of analyze and draft documents. And I think I was pretty good at it, but I loved the part where I got to talk with CEOs and CFOs and advise on how to run their business and negotiate deals. And when we're all in a room connecting, I swear, I can see it just all go back. And I remember my friend Shannon, she said, what you're doing now is what was your favorite part of your old job. And you just get to do it all the time. I mean, I was just on a stage with Grant Hill, the basketball player, and a lot of people know him just as a basketball player. He is this incredible human being who's done all this great philanthropic work. He's led all these different organizations as a board member and an investor. And he is so smart and he has so much good stuff to say. And so I get the job of being able to pull all of that out of him and show the world how amazing Grant Hill is outside of being this phenomenal basketball player. And then a lot of the times you talk about being on the stage, I don't like to actually see myself because I don't it, it's not for me. I'm not like, yes, I started doing this little acting gig and that's what propelled me here, but, that's not what I like to do. I hate to see myself on camera. It's really about connecting with the people. So for me, it's not about being on a huge stage and being in front of an audience. It's about getting to highlight someone else. And it's about getting the audience connected to whatever we're talking about. And it's about letting other people understand why diversity, equity, and inclusion in the workplace is important and why we should all be super excited and invested in environmental and social and governance concerns. Do you know what I mean?

Joy Blue: 20:57

Yes. Because when one of us wins, all of us win.

Eva Saha: 21:00

Totally. Yes. Yes. The rising tide lifts all boats. Let's do a whole bunch of cliches.

Joy Blue: 21:06

I'm here for it. I am here for it. And I think that's another reason you and I connected. Because that's. What I love doing on this podcast. I've been through so many iterations of how I'm doing this podcast. But what I really landed on is I just like talking to people and celebrating something they love. I am so grateful you took time to come be with me on this podcast today.

Eva Saha: 21:28

Aw, me too. I'm, I'm grateful that you asked me.

Joy Blue: 21:31

We speak the same language of the heart, and I am ever so grateful for you being here and sharing and just hanging out. You're a solid human.

Eva Saha: 21:40

you are too Joy. Thank you.

Joy Blue: 21:43

So here we are. What a journey. We just went on in the span of 20 some minutes. I loved going on this curiosity dive with Eva. I learned so much. All about how important it is to be a model of the values we hold. Of truly putting forth and being the examples of diversity, equity, and inclusion. Of making space to celebrate the goodness that exists right here and right now in all of us. Eva, it was such a gift to spend time with you in this way. So grateful for you and the beauty that you bring to the world. If you've got a flavor of nerd that you want me to celebrate, I would love to hear all about it. So go ahead and email me at herewearethepodcast@gmail.com, and tell me everything. I love taking time to sit and make space for nerd to be celebrated. If you know of somebody else that I need to interview, send me an email. I need all the connections I can get. If you really like this podcast, and want to financially support what I'm doing, head on over to patreon.com, search for Here We Are The Podcast, and sign up for one of the many beautifully written support tiers little I wrote myself. So until next time, don't forget that curiosity wins and the world needs more nerds. Bye.