Here We Are: What Makes Us Human

64. Genesis Simmons [Stories]

• Joy Blue • Episode 64

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Today's episode is a heart-warmer! Join in as Joy talks with Genesis Simmons, a creator, barista, and all-around good human, about how we see story all around us.

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Joy Blue:

Welcome to Here We Are. The podcast where we celebrate the beauty of being a nerd by learning about nerdy things from fellow nerds. I'm your host, Joy Blue. Sometimes when I'm out and about, I'll meet a human and just know I have got to talk to them. Like today's human. Brie and I met them after an eventful day where the three attempts we took at exploring and adventure while we were traveling, had struck out. The bakery we went to in the morning was disappointing. The iced coffee we got was horrible. And our two dogs didn't really enjoy the dog park we went to. We typically try to stay away from national chain restaurants while on the road. But at this point in this particular trip, we just needed a known comfort. We pulled into Starbucks, were greeted by a warm and welcoming voice, and next thing I know I'm interviewing Genesis for this podcast. I'm so glad she agreed to meet with me. And I'm so excited to share with you our amazing conversation. Without further ado, here's Genesis Simmons to talk with us about stories

Genesis Simmons:

hi, I'm Genesis. I love coffee. I love reading. I love music. I'm in a band.

Joy Blue:

You're in a band

Genesis Simmons:

I am in a band. Yeah.

Joy Blue:

legit.

Genesis Simmons:

We're like a bluegrass, not really bluegrass like kind of band. We just wrote our first song together.

Joy Blue:

that's amazing.

Genesis Simmons:

Which is incredible.

Joy Blue:

How do you participate in the band?

Genesis Simmons:

I sing and I play guitar.

Joy Blue:

That's legit.

Genesis Simmons:

Yeah. They would call me the lead singer. So we just finished writing our song, which is really exciting. And I've been working on music too, like myself, so we're probably gonna release some stuff this year, which will be really good. That's pretty much it. Oh, I have a cat. His name is Gregory Pumpkin Loaf.

Joy Blue:

What an amazing name.

Genesis Simmons:

yeah.

Joy Blue:

What does he get called most often?

Genesis Simmons:

Greg mostly I just call him. I'll be like, Hey Greg, because I think it's funny cuz it just sounds so human, but you're like sitting in talking to your cat, you're like, Greg, whatcha you doing? Yeah. It's my favorite thing.

Joy Blue:

Great job. Okay. What do you wanna nerd out about today?

Genesis Simmons:

I wanna nerd out about stories.

Joy Blue:

Okay, this is gonna be really interesting. I've had people talking about storytelling. I've had people talk about all kinds of things around this, but I want to know what is it about stories that gets you excited?

Genesis Simmons:

Honestly, I think it comes with part of your podcast to begin with, which is like the human experience, right? Like that tagline, really it got me because that's what I enjoy. I enjoy reading memoirs and biographies because I love the story, but it's the same way even with fiction, even with like historical, nonfiction and all this kind of stuff. There's a story, there's a story there, and there's like a reason why people got from point A to point B. And I just find it so fascinating and it makes more sense of the world, in that kind of sense. But then also you meet all these incredible people and they're like little bits of life and how you interact and how they might cross over is crazy and like knowing little pieces of people's story. I mean like I'm in the right business truly because I get to talk to a bunch of people for just short little segments of my day all day long. And I get to make these wonderful connections and like meet people, but I get to see like a glimpse into people's lives and their stories. And I just think it's so fascinating and I just love how people like portray their stories and put it out into the world

Joy Blue:

Yeah, and that's how we met you. My wife Brie and I went through the drive through at your Starbucks in Virginia, and all of a sudden I was like, Hello. I should know you. And my wife was like, here's her card

Genesis Simmons:

No, it was perfect. It was perfect.

Joy Blue:

It really was

Genesis Simmons:

But that's, I mean, that kind of thing happens. And oh my gosh, this is actually the best part of that whole story, which is that the next person right after you, the wife was like heckling her husband or whatever. And finally she was like, can you just say it? And he was like, I think you got a really nice voice. Like you could be on the radio or something. And I was like, the people in front of you just gave me a card. And so like him saying that really it boosted me. I was like, two in a row. That's pretty good. Can't say no to that. Yeah.

Joy Blue:

Okay. When did you start noticing the trend of being in tune with the story arc of people?

Genesis Simmons:

well,

Joy Blue:

I.

Genesis Simmons:

I think that it was really, it was one of those things that. It's always been there for me. I've had, I was like, I wasn't an only child, but I was an only child. I didn't live with my siblings full-time and I, most of the time lived not with them. And so I was like alone a lot. And I think I like got really attached to books and characters and TV shows and movies and stuff like that and like their stories. And then when I started meeting people who had vastly different lives than I did, Because I lived between my parents. They were separated, they were never together. I had siblings like hanging all around. I, my cousins lived in the house right next to me. There was chaos all the time in my life. But I could stay alone. And then to meet all these other kids who like, have these, like really, like stable homes and stuff like that I've always been so fascinated than other people and like what they're doing and what their lives look like. And I think it just stems from having a vastly different childhood from most. But I got into acting really young too. And so that's really what put me in it because then you have to be in someone else's story and that's how I always looked at it. And so I like did a bunch of character studies, like basically all through my life as I did theater. And then I realized that in my free time, like all I do is like study people, study situations, recognize how people communicate, where the miscommunications come in, like all this type of stuff. And it's really fascinating when you like can sit in the corner and just watch everyone else interact and react to things.

Joy Blue:

Yes, I am right there with you. I resonate so strongly with everything you just said. I do the same thing at parties. I'm the person sitting in the corner waiting for people to come to me, and if nobody comes to me, I'm just fine cuz I just get to sit there and watch everything that's happening. I think I know what you mean, but I wanna know more about when you said you do character studies. What does that look like for you?

Genesis Simmons:

So I am really I'm also like an avid reader and part of that is like script reading. And so I'll go through and I'll, read scripts. And I really, in a lot of scripts that like really hit me emotionally I like to go through and pick a character and I'll reread through it. And I do it with books too, you know, like regular books too. But I was really into acting for a long time and so I had learned how to do like a character study, like a real character study, as if you're gonna be that person. So I do that with like books and with like TV show characters. It's like really, like I just follow their narrative really closely. I'm like studying like their habits and like the patterns and stuff like that. It's really,

Joy Blue:

Fascinating.

Genesis Simmons:

yeah.

Joy Blue:

Break that down even more for me. So I've actually never thought about this and now I wanna try it of reading through a book or watching something as a different character each time.

Genesis Simmons:

Yeah,

Joy Blue:

What do you need in order to feel like you have a hold on who a character is?

Genesis Simmons:

I mean, you don't, that's the fun part of it. Is that there's, it's not all a hundred percent, like you get into it, you start going one direction, and then you're like, wait a second. I don't actually think this is something that this character, you know, like I don't know if this is my feelings rubbing off on it because I know how it's gonna end, all this stuff. And so sometimes it's really hard to get over those blocks and you just have to go through it like as you can.

Joy Blue:

So what I'm hearing is you have an extremely vivid imagination.

Genesis Simmons:

yeah, I do.

Joy Blue:

I love that

Genesis Simmons:

It's really fun. And then my dreams are like TV shows, episodes. I'll end off one place and then I'll pick up in the next place or like start a new episode like every night. And it could be something vastly different and it's, it works,

Joy Blue:

that's so entertaining.

Genesis Simmons:

Yeah.

Joy Blue:

Wow. This is fascinating. Do you know how fascinating this is?

Genesis Simmons:

I think it's pretty fascinating. I didn't realize like a lot of my imagination and like the things that I think and like the way that I think is not like how a lot of the people that I've met in my life think, which is really interesting. Like I didn't realize that people couldn't like, see things in their mind and I can't see people. I can't be like, oh, let me think of your face and my, I mean, you're right in front of me, so you're not a good example. But I can't be like, oh, what's that person? What's their face look like? In my mind I can't do that. But as far as like things that like never existed and just like going off my own space, like I can do that for sure. Just can't promise. I'll see any of you there.

Joy Blue:

Yeah, I understand that. Absolutely. I'm the type of brain that if somebody's telling a story, it is a world that is building in my head as they tell it.

Genesis Simmons:

Yes. It's really fascinating and it's great, like when you're reading, you can see. Like everything in front of you and you don't have to sit there and focus on every single word. Like I felt like when I was younger and learning how to read, I couldn't see the picture because I had heard stories told to me. But like trying to actually put those words together when you're doing it yourself was so hard for me. And when I finally got it, it's like I don't even look at the page. I'm just like in it, like I'm just fully immersed. It's like scary sometimes.

Joy Blue:

I end up skimming through a lot of stories because I can already see all the detail in my

Genesis Simmons:

Yes. No, same. Same.

Joy Blue:

Where does this show up in your normal life? How does it help you cope in your normal world?

Genesis Simmons:

I'm very artistic and creative. I've always got eight projects going on, so like in one corner of the room, it's like my song lyrics. So I'll go and I'll look through them, cross things out, add things, pick up my guitar, like play with it a little bit, record a couple things, and then I'll jump over and start painting. Like I've got a painting set up right now and I'm just like going and going and going. And then I moved to the other side of the room and I'm like, oh. I need to go work on this, but like I pour out like all these like emotions that I'm having into all these different things, and I try to balance myself.

Joy Blue:

That's amazing. So your way of coping is through like externally telling stories through art forms.

Genesis Simmons:

Yeah.

Joy Blue:

That's amazing. Do you find that what you experienced during the day comes out in these art forms.

Genesis Simmons:

Yeah. Honestly, it's a little different depending on the day. But yes, I would say so. I've been trying to have some stronger boundaries with like work home life balance, and so a lot of the times I will just leave stuff behind. And every emotion that I'm having is personal, but there are days where things seep out. Because we're human beings, we're not robots. Like I'm, I can't shut off my emotions like that. If it was a hard day at work or I made someone upset, or, there's like some sort of disagreement that's not even about me, but I know about, you know, like I'm still gonna feel those. So yeah, sometimes it does. And it comes in through my art. Depending on what I'm working on, it can be really beneficial cause it can add like an extra edge to a music piece or like a thicker sharpie when I'm drawing in my notebook. But it's like stuff that really impacts, like when I go back and look at my art later, I can be like, oh, I know exactly where I was at this point.

Joy Blue:

Yeah, those are milestones for you.

Genesis Simmons:

Yeah. And it's really nice to be able to have all of that and have a bunch of different things that it can be like, when I did this, I was at this phase of my life and that's why I did it so much was because I needed it. Like, I find that I journal too, and so I'll find that I'll stop journaling for several days, but then you look at my like sketchbook or my sketchbooks completely full.

Joy Blue:

Mm-hmm.

Genesis Simmons:

And then, there are days where like I don't play music for a week and then. You look over in the corner, I'm like, I've knitted an entire blanket in a half. And you're like, oh, there she is.

Joy Blue:

Right.

Genesis Simmons:

She's doing it.

Joy Blue:

That's, that in and of itself is such a fascinating phrase. Oh, there she is. Because what I'm hearing you say is the beautiful storytelling parts of you aren't just inside, but you are doing the work to let them come out in whatever way they desire. And so you're being a true artist, you're being true to whatever is happening in the moment, and you're flowing with it.

Genesis Simmons:

Yeah, I'm trying. I just moved to this new apartment and so that's really helped that. Um, Cause I've got a lot of different art projects going on around the apartment. I've got like this wall right next to me. It's got like a, a bunch of just picture frames in it, but they're all empty.

Joy Blue:

Yes.

Genesis Simmons:

So people like come into my living room and they're like, are you okay? I'm like, yeah, what's wrong? You don't like it? People don't like it. They're like, why are they empty? I'm like, cause I don't have any pictures I wanna put in them. I don't know. Can I just, can you leave me alone? But I like went to Goodwills and I got all of these.

Joy Blue:

That's amazing. So many people are uncomfortable with things that are unfinished. And things that don't quite make sense. And what I'm hearing you say with your storytelling and with how you show up in the world, that that liminal space is not overwhelming to you.

Genesis Simmons:

no, I really, I've struggled for a really long time with Like figuring out exactly where I was gonna land. I've always been like the type to just take things as they are. I don't need a matching set of plates in my cupboard. I like this one blue plate from the Goodwill.`And I also like this flower plate. That was my great-grandmother's. So I'm gonna keep both of them, like I don't need to have matching sets or things to be like completely in order. I don't like it actually.

Joy Blue:

Yeah. So what you're looking for in the stories you tell are the unique bits that might not fit other places. Am I hearing that right?

Genesis Simmons:

Yeah. And I like the like little details. I like the things that people think need to be added. Because it's like when you're telling stories, even if it's in art, even if it's in like TV shows, like for instance, like the same character wearing that one dress, you know, one episode and eight later, why did they do it? Because they knew that someone would recognize it. Right? But like, why did they do it? Like why do people add these little details? I just think it's so interesting. And then to try to find some perspective and figure out where exactly that comes from and why they included that little detail and why it was important and it. Makes you root out the important things in your life. It's just like really interesting. But you start to pick it out on other people too, of like everyday things. Like they say something and you're like, where did that come from? What part of you does that come from? But it's been great to do that kind of stuff too, cuz I I've started recognizing it when I'm like mean to myself and I can catch myself. Like I've just started really trying to pay attention to myself as I like pay attention to everything else. And I like notice. Yeah. Like I notice when I'm mean to myself, I'm like, oh, we're gonna stop that. And then when I hear other people doing it now I'm like, oh, say three nice things about yourself right now. And I do, you can ask anyone I work with. They're all, they all know. Yeah.

Joy Blue:

You, you're magical. Do you know that you have magic?

Genesis Simmons:

I've been trying to, yeah, I've been trying to use it.

Joy Blue:

Like what I'm hearing you say is you are intentionally curious about the negative space.

Genesis Simmons:

Yeah. There's balance in everything. I'm gonna take whatever comes my way, but I need to not sit in a space where like everything is bad all the time. Sometimes you need that. But why do you need it? You need it to heal from things.

Joy Blue:

What makes you feel most alive?

Genesis Simmons:

Singing probably.

Joy Blue:

What do you notice about yourself when you're singing?

Genesis Simmons:

I'm like so tuned in to what I'm doing, like how I'm singing and like I'm just like focused on like the art of it. I'm not focused on

Joy Blue:

Hmm?

Genesis Simmons:

else.

Joy Blue:

Do you experience that when you're working with your other art forms?

Genesis Simmons:

Yeah, it depends. Singing is the one that it happens the fastest with. Like I know if I'm like in a bad mood and I start singing, instantly better. Whereas sometimes like my other art forms like painting or drawing I tend to just do whatever comes out is what you get. Cuz I need that space for that.

Joy Blue:

So it sounds like the diversity of the art that you create matches the diversity of the universe inside of you.

Genesis Simmons:

Yeah, I feel like I'm eight different people melded into one sometimes.

Joy Blue:

We all

Genesis Simmons:

because I've, yeah, no, I, you all are. And that's what I've been like learning as I, meet more people. But I have so many different, like outward facing narratives that I've given over the years, cuz I've always lived between parents and then grandparents were in the mix too. So I've always had like several different houses and several different like friend groups and all this stuff. And now I find myself in this like very center place right now where there's only one me, there's only one person I can show up as. And so all my different, like outward facing narratives are suddenly meeting each other and it's wait a. Who are you?

Joy Blue:

How do we all get along at this committee

Genesis Simmons:

Yeah. It's wait a second.

Joy Blue:

That's fascinating. Okay. Switching from being introspective to being a little more outwardly focused, what do you normally pick up on in people that you're around? Because it sounds like you have strong empathy. It sounds like you understand character narrative. You understand what it's like to be in someone else's shoes. How does that play out in the real world?

Genesis Simmons:

Well, people's ticks are like an easy one to notice. So like any sort of like little, like hair things or people tend to like pull on their face, like something on their face or near their face a lot especially when they're nervous. And then speaking. Like there are patterns that people have, speaking patterns are really fascinating to me. And then there's also like phrases that they'll repeat. Like there are certain phrases that you attribute to certain people and so it's like focusing in on that kind of stuff. When you first start talking to someone, what's the first thing they bring up? What's the first thing that they talk about? You know, That's not, not the question that you bring up. What's the first thing that they talk to you about? That's fascinating to me.

Joy Blue:

that is super fascinating. That's so many things I've never thought of before. Oh my gosh, it's time for social experiments. Let's go.

Genesis Simmons:

Yeah. That's basically what life is, right? Like

Joy Blue:

a big social experiment. What happens if I change this?

Genesis Simmons:

Right. But it's like really fascinating too, to. To even be being more present with myself, like how I bring myself into conversations. How I interact and react and how the first thing that I say also matters somebody Else. So that's been like great for my self work too. Cuz I can look at it from like different perspectives and be like, oh. Interesting. This is how I'm being perceived. But I usually try to save it for good moments, like when I make someone's day or like when I'm handing out something that they want or just, there are sometimes people like cards get declined and stuff like that, and I'm just like, oh, it's fine. Life goes on.

Joy Blue:

Yeah.

Genesis Simmons:

Drink coffee. Have a great day.

Joy Blue:

I mean, that's the beauty of being able to walk through the world in a non-judgmental way, just accepting what is,

Genesis Simmons:

Yeah.

Joy Blue:

I mean, that's a practice unto, unto itself.

Genesis Simmons:

Trying, trying to do it.

Joy Blue:

It's beautiful.

Genesis Simmons:

It's not perfect, but it's definitely the journey that I've been on for a while now, and I'm like, I try to lean into those good moments and the ways that you can make an impact on someone, even if it's just like two seconds and I never think about you ever again. that's what human experience deserves, is just like the little moments of kindness. Like those are the ones That you think about when you need something

Joy Blue:

Hmm.

Genesis Simmons:

you holding on.

Joy Blue:

That's beautiful. My brain can't let go of what you said of I want to choose well what I say first. What does that mean to you? How has that evolved for you?

Genesis Simmons:

Well, so I think it hasn't always been like an easy thing for me. I feel like when I first started, like recognizing that my responses had an impact, I was like in this really weird place with my, parental life because I was like fighting with my parents all the time. And it wasn't until we were like already in that phase that I realized that like the things that I were saying, like definitely had an impact on the people around me. And like I needed to calm it down a little bit. And that's really when a lot of that sort of started. And so I went back and, and it's taken me a lot of years to recognize like the things that I do to like egg people on or get myself in these like situations. And that's all been through trial and error. Cuz I'm a strong independent woman and I've got a lot of very high expectations for the people around me. And so then sometimes I can get frustrated that could end up coming out in a really negative way cuz I'm just trying to stand up for myself and I'm just trying to be an advocate for myself. And then it comes across in like the wrong way. So I've recognized ways to get around that is to like always treat every moment that you can with respect based upon the person that you're interacting with. Because it looks different for everybody.

Joy Blue:

That is beautiful.

Genesis Simmons:

It's really hard. Cuz you gotta learn people and you have to want to.

Joy Blue:

Right, but it's also being in tune with who you are and being able to say what you want well, in addition to knowing who you're talking to and how to phrase it in a way that they will hear it. Cuz just the simple act of saying, this is what I want, or this is what I need, is one of the most vulnerable things out there. But then even what you're saying is the layer on top of it, of not just being able to say what I want, but being able to give you the best opportunity to hear me well. That's magic and that's rare. It's acknowledging that there is so much meta in experience. It's not just me experiencing you, but it's also you experiencing me and also each of us experiencing ourselves at the same time.

Genesis Simmons:

Yeah. crazy, it's all the time. So sometimes it's really great and I like learn a lot and I like. Study people and I get to know more about people, which is great. But then sometimes it's like very overwhelming cause it's like I can't stop noticing that you're ticking your pencil. Like I'm gonna need you to, you know? like I really can't stop focusing in on it. Or it's a really bad moment, where someone's yelling at you and you have to sit there and you have to be like, this is another human. What is this like from their perspective, what is going on in their lives that makes them feel like this? Like, where are they at, where, what do you need to be for them?

Joy Blue:

That's a ridiculous amount of empathy that not a lot of humans have.

Genesis Simmons:

Yeah. I recognize that. Which is why my dad always gets like a little bit worried that I'm gonna end up being like stepped all over. Which is why I think I have the balance of sometimes I can be a little harsh or seem a little blunt or seem like it's like I'm more frustrated or angry about something than I actually am. But I'm just trying to be firm. Like this is how I feel about it. This is what I'm gonna do about it. And that's the work that I'm trying to do also with understanding people and how to communicate, and

Joy Blue:

That's also the essence of boundaries. It's not telling somebody else what to do. It's telling them what you're going to do.

Genesis Simmons:

Well, and I think that if I have strong boundaries and then I'm also a kind person like that can coincide. I don't know why I've thought in my mind that in order to have strong boundaries, you have to be unkind. You never have to be unkind in any situation to get yourself in the spot that you need to get to. And that's what I really needed to shift my perspective into.

Joy Blue:

That's amazing.

Genesis Simmons:

Thank you.

Joy Blue:

What's something you could encourage the listeners to try based off of what we've been talking about?

Genesis Simmons:

Just do it. Just do whatever it is that you've ever thought about doing. I know people say that all the time, but if there's something creative or if not even creative, if it's like you wanna join a softball team, go join a softball team. I think we get so stuck in this you have to do this at a certain time. Like you don't, like if your dream was to play soccer as a child and you never did it, like do it right now. There's so many other things stopping you, but that this is your life, right? Like If you can't take the moment to live your life, like why are you here? Like you're not here to go to work every single day and suffer because you don't like work, and then come home and then not like home. Do the things that are bringing you joy, even if it's like sitting on your back porch drinking a beer. Like Do the things that are gonna bring you like two seconds of joy, because that's what this is for. That's the whole reason that we are here, not to make ourselves suffer.

Joy Blue:

That's beautiful.

Genesis Simmons:

So I would just say do it.

Joy Blue:

Thank you so much for your time and being willing to do this with me. This has been amazing.

Genesis Simmons:

Thank you. I appreciate you.

Joy Blue:

So here we are! That was such a delightful dive into how we see the world. Like Genesis said at the end, do the things that bring you joy because that's the reason we're here. If you're anything like me and the emotion of joy is hard to hold, I would encourage you to take a slow, small step into it. Like treating yourself to sitting on the couch with a book, or watching a show, or catching up with a friend who makes you feel seen and loved. It doesn't have to be big. You are worth prioritizing goodness for. If you're someone who sees the world through a lens of joy, that is amazing! Don't forget that that is a superpower. And when you're able, share it with those around you. Thank you again, Genesis for the gift of seeing the world through your eyes. If you've got a flavor of nerd that you want me to celebrate, I would love to hear all about it. So go ahead and email me at herewearethepodcast@gmail.com and tell me everything. I love taking time to sit and make space for nerd to be celebrated. If you really liked this podcast and want to financially support what I'm doing, I head on over to patreon.com, search for Here We Are The Podcast, and sign up for one of the many beautifully written support tiers that I'm still very proud of. So until next time. Don't forget that curiosity wins and the world needs more nerds. Bye.